Now on to the topic of Love -- I really believe the song "Love Hurts". The only way to avoid being hurt is to not love at all. Tried that but wasn't very successful. Have always been the type to give more than receive and then get resentful. I can see all the men nodding their heads - lol -- YES i admit it -- I will not tell you what I want or need I expect you to magically know what it is and protect yourself if you get it wrong.
After my last divorce I could have just blamed it all on him that would have been easy cuz he is such a jerk but I did some deep soul searching and looked at what I did to help make him even more of a jerk than he was before me.
That is when I created the name psyche -- for those of you who don't know -- she is a figure that searched her whole life looking for her lost love and depending on the story, found him right before she died or never found him at all -- maybe i kept the name as some kind of premonition for the future...
I've tried to change what I can which is hard and I've tried to see what character traits I have that I have to watch so I don't cause any of the hurt and pain to my husband or myself that I went thru in the past.
I really believe it takes two people to make a relationship work but also in most cases two people to kill one. I could never really be myself in my first two marriages, I tried so hard to become what everyone else thought I should be. Finally as my second marriage died I came to the conclusion that at least I would be me. My worst moment was realizing how my children saw me when they were not used to me being happy. My younger ones thought I had gone totally psycho because they were so used to seeing me miserable.
I realize I have alot of my skewed visions of love and marriage thanks to what I saw my parents put each other thru, funny how you swear you won't turn out like that but find the traits within you....All I can hope for is with honesty and admitting to my kids where I went wrong and now seeing that it is actually possible for a relationship to be based on two people they have a better chance at not having to go thru what I have.
No matter what happens I know my husband loves me and I still love him, that kind of deep secure feeling has always been missing from my life, with the exception of my kids who I always know love me, and of course a pet or two along the way that I knew "needed me" more than some - lol --
Soooo disdain love all you want but having gone without it and having it now I would never want to go back again.
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